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sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way I don't wanna wake up from you

Jul. 11th, 2009 | 05:29 pm

each year i get progressively less and less okay.

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Jailbait

Feb. 25th, 2009 | 03:30 am

at least i called it.

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Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania

Feb. 18th, 2009 | 11:34 pm

I'm visiting friday saturday
and i want it to be written
i smell disaster

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THINGS

Feb. 7th, 2009 | 09:16 pm

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY
1. alcohol
2. lists
3. stability
4. the dollar tree
5. christine elizabeth anne vecchione
6. my bizarro taste in music
7. freedom
8. driving
9.condensing things at work
10. ranting
11. progress
12. glow sticks
13. things going as planned
14. things going better than planned
15. things not needing to be planned at all
16. someone.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SAD
1. feeling inadequate
2. lying
3. my parents
4. living at home
5. the dollar tree
6. mystery bruises
7. alcohol being number 1 on the previous list
8. self-control
9. boundries
10. paranoia
11. caring
12. hope
13. my mother (yes i know shes already on here)
14. mono
15. spiders in my bathtub.
16. waiting for something that may or may not ever happen

THINGS THAT MAKE ME ANGRY
1. the world fucking over people i care about
2. being called a liar
3. being sick
4. being scared
5. mornings
6. insulting someone i care about
7. double standards
8. my own skewed morals
9. making decisions
10. being wrong on my judgments of people
11. getting yanked out of shippensburg
12. having mono since the spring and no one telling me
13. wasting my time
14. my mother's refusal to grant praise
15. batteries&candy being messed up at the dollar tree... aka my OCD
16. absolutely nothing.


THINGS THAT MAKE ME SCARED
1. robots/animatronic figures
2. ventrilloquists&their dummies
3. sharks
4. skin cancer
5. leeches
6. men hitting on me
7. abandonment
8. rejection
9. being alone
10. failure
11. my mother
12. working at the dollar tree forever
13. living in my parents house forever
14. not going back to school next fall
15. my biggest ex still loving me
16. the girl i like getting back with her ex.



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From your head to your toes, I would be there...

Jan. 28th, 2009 | 10:44 pm
music: fly on the wall, t.a.t.u.

i identified today why i am falling apart.
the only problem is, for once, there is nothing i can do to stop it.


I really need to not be in school right now, i really need to be working
however
i cannot live with my parents, thats for certain

I'm thinking about taking the semester off in the fall, and living in shippensburg
in the townhouse me and book boy are getting
and working full time.

i dont know how well this is going to work, meaning my life.

amanda promised me she would come back today and i don't know what to do. i believe she believes she is coming back, however
one of the reasons i am falling apart is nothing in my life that is important goes as planned
and there is nothing in the world more important to me than her.
which i know is a fail.
i dont even know how i got here, but i can't worry about that right now
right now i just need to try and glue myself back together enough to keep functioning.

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way to go, asshole.

Jan. 26th, 2009 | 07:49 pm

you just gave up on the one person who would never give up on you.

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we both go down together

Dec. 30th, 2008 | 09:29 pm

christina zink
is what she eats

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the mountain in shippensburg

Dec. 16th, 2008 | 09:24 pm

even though i live there
i have yet to find it

im in a mood i could drive for days in one direction and never wonder where i was going
i'm curious as to
what is on the other side of nothing

i feel empty and its uncalled for
i need this thing OUT

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we googled it, obviously

Dec. 15th, 2008 | 07:35 pm

my mother says on the phone.

i wish i was 5 again.

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WINTER BREAK

Dec. 12th, 2008 | 01:54 am

i go home tomorrow but im not sure that i'm up to much
i might pick up tay tay from school
&go to taco bell

beyond that, im catching up on missed sleep

im running on a mixture of mountain dew, amp, jolt and creamer shots.

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